The Escort as a Consultant

The email starts off with how much he is impressed with my SEO skills and my SERP (my position in Googles Organic Search Engine). I’m thinking…..ok where is this going? A job offer? A consultant?. Usually emails start off with how impressed they are with my site, or how much they like my blog or even better, how they just have to meet me, but being impressed with my escort SEO skills was as new one.

I continue to read, He has never seen a independent escort being so high up in such a competitive market and he simply must meet me.

No problem I answer, same price, hotel room and if he would like to discuss SEO etc, I’ll put on my business clothes, keep my tits inside and I’ll be the Escort working as the consultant.

Well he writes back, he does actually want the escort side as well, that is after all why he found me.

I think this over a bit and decide upon my offer:  He gets the escort, he gets the consultant, we’ll need 2 hours and its based on reward and punishment (this I’m really going to enjoy). I’ll teach, if he understands and remembers he’ll get a reward, if not, a punishment.

He agrees. I go shopping. I’m going to needs some large sheets of paper for the wall, some markers to explain how I beat out a lot of the escort portals and of course a paddle (punishment).

We meet and he explains that for his business, he has hired several seo “experts” but none of them have succeeded. And  hes paid out a small fortune. He mentioned that he figured with me he can get a “toofer” sex and expert consulting.

I put him in the chair, told him I don’t want to hear a word while I put up the sheets of paper on the wall and got out my markers I told him to write out the terms he understood relating to SEO.I looked back at him and saw him with one of those “naughty smiles” where he was clearly undressing me with his eyes.

I walk over and slapped his head, he has to concentrate on the work. I think he is understanding how this is going to work.

The next 2 hours is  a mixture of  how to minimize ones javascript and why its important. How to reduce a sites resource use and why google likes it, why concentrating on mobile is crucial, etc 

Getting slapped in the middle of a BJ when he answers my question wrong means he wasn’t listening, which I believe helped him concentrate when I was talking to him.

And of course throughout this consulting / escort time, what was waiting for him was the final exam.

Did he understand the material? and if so how well. What will his grade be? and of course if he passes what does he get? and is there a “pop quiz’ in the middle of his graduation present?.

I can be a tough teacher and I mean really tough, with no sympathy, no excuses accepted. He actually though that just because I was sitting on top of him with my shirt open and enjoying myself that he had a good excuse for getting the pop quiz question wrong that I asked him while on top of him (foolish man).

He’ll be back, his actually grade was a “C.” Too much  information and too little concentration. I wonder how he made it through Grad school.