The Escort Barter
Months ago I had a barter deal with one of my clients: He teaches me how to improve my SERP (search engine results page) and he can have his way with me. It was a “win win” for us. I got some incredible advice on how to move up in Google Organic Search. At that point I was on page 9 -10 or worse, basically “non existent.” We went through the research on the relevant words, short and long-tailed. Examined my page structure, content, meta descriptions URLs, etc
The Escort Bonus
I also added to sweeten the deal a bonus. If I move up in Google I told him and get to that elusive first page, he will get his just reward, a super bonus from me.
Fluctuations and Escorting
I was pretty happy as I saw my site moving up in google. I followed his advice, and watched my site move up on google. Page 8, then to page 4, page 3. My numbers were getting better, I was getting excited as well as horny. When I get excited my hormones go crazy and I just do what I have to do. If there is no man around, I’ve got a back up, its girly pink and its got 10 different functions on it, a few more than most of my clients 😉
Soon I was on the top of page two….and there I stayed. I seemed no matter what I tried I couldnt get past page 2. (Bear in mind, that when I’m on top, I’m in control, so this was new for me and very frusrtating. Using certain secondary search words (fetish, outcall), I did make it to page one, but that didnt increase the actual leads (emails).
One morning, I checked my SERP and my site was Gone! It was on page 25 or something. After the panic died down and I started researching the phenomenon, I discovered that google has “fluctuations“
Fluctuations in fact are caused by the exact thing I was taught to do with my barter deal, as well as what I read about during my research. It turns out that new content can cause extreme fluctuations:
When it comes to new content, Mueller says to expect rankings to fluctuate quite a bit. This could even involve disappearing from search rankings completely, and then showing up again.
Well since I’m all over the “google organic search” my client who is returning this week, will certainly NOT get his bonus. He certainly didn’t even mention the possibility that fluctuations even exist.
Instead I will now offer the same deal to Santa Clause. All I want for Christmas is a better SERP.
If Santa gets me on page one, were going to have some real fun in his sleigh, and he might miss a few deliveries. The kids may not understand but I have no doubt that their dads will.