I’ve written before that I have some very special clients, and this time I received a beautiful piece of Jewellery.
My initial reaction was uncomfortable and to refuse it. I realise that this makes me very different from so many other girls in this profession. Many of the girls, with websites have a full page on their site that is all about the kind of presents (or wish list) that they would like to receive, gifts from the famous and expensive brands….I don’t have such a page. It feels something akin to asking for something that I haven’t earned. I have a price for my hour and I don’t feel comfortable “hinting” that I deserve more.
I had to consider my reaction, why was it “negative?”. It definitely wasn’t because of the client, I like him, I enjoy the time with him and look forward when he returns.
I did accept his present as it was clear that he really wanted me to accept it, at the same time I had to ponder why. Actually it didn’t take me much time to understand my own psych. I’m independent for a reason, I don’t like being a position of “owing” someone, being in dept, depending upon someone else and then have to ‘suck up to them (pun intended).
Accepting the Present as an Escort
Still I accepted the present and the reason is quite simple.
My education in this started with my parents. As I was growing up and stretching my wings as a independent young woman I didn’t like receiving help from my parents, I felt they were interfering with my own independence. In fact I kind of resented it, as if they were trying to ‘hang on to me.” A good friend of mine years ago explained to me that by refusing their help / their presents I was infact insulting them. They show their love by helping me, whether I need it or not and its my job to accept it. I would be very selfish of me to not accept their help.
Once explained to me, it was pretty obvious just how right my friend was and it made it much easier to accept their help. That bit of information is related to my the present here.
My initial reaction of refusal is based on the fact that I cannot really return the “favour.” I cannot bring a present in return for his birthday or invite him for dinner to celebrate a successful visit. Our relationship cannot be “normalised.” I have a red line between my private life and its present trajectory vs my work as an independent escort.
And yet to reject the wonderful present would be insulting. My client understands very well our relationship, which is why I’m so comfortable with him. It is also why I can happily accept his present despite my initial natural reaction. Presents are designed to show appreciation beyond our normal day to day relations even if it can’t be mutual.
The jewelry that I now own is perfect for me, and I’ll wear it with pleasure 🙂